So, you want to contact me? So do the other 10 rational people out there!
The best way to contact me is to email me. Kyle@KyleVarner.com works really well for that. If you are a guyman: make u go no email me no i be mugu u be mugu make you go dieeeeeeeeeeeee GBOW! (This is the way guymen, aka Nigerian 419 scammers) like to talk. Basically, what I’m telling them is that if they email me they will not succede in scamming me. Instead, I will scam them. Sweet, huh?
I thought about putting my phone numbers on here, but in the end, I decided that it was a bad idea. If you know me on a personal level, we are probably friends on facebook, in which case you can just look up my phone number. Since I am (usually) out of the United States, my phone service is vonage (plus whatever local cell phone I have). This means that if you call me and leave a voice message, it will actually just be an email. Of course, if you leave a voice message, I have to download it and listen to it with itunes, which is a major pain in the ass. So just email me. If it is urgent, call my cell phone. If you just want to meet me or get to know me, email me. If you find my number and call me and I don’t know you, I will be slightly weirded out and might have to visit a Caribbean voodoo witch to get a little doll made of you. So don’t stalk me or something like that, and we will be cool, OK?
By the way: I am a gun owner. Keep that in mind if you are considering becoming my newest stalker. I also have a concealed carry permit. I almost always carry.
Be cool and we can be cool.
